People with high self-esteem and narcissists may both look confident. But they are different. Self-esteem means "I am as important as other people." Narcissism means "I am better than other people."

A study in the Netherlands followed children for a year and a half. When parents saw their children as more special than others, the children later became more narcissistic. Children with warm, loving parents later had higher self-esteem.

Self-esteem and narcissism can look similar, but psychologists treat them as different things. Self-esteem is the feeling that you are as worthy as other people, while narcissism is the feeling that you are superior and special. Narcissistic people often crave praise and react strongly to criticism. In a 2015 study, Dutch researchers followed about 560 children aged seven to eleven and their parents for a year and a half.

Children whose parents saw them as more special than other children later became more narcissistic, while children whose parents showed warmth later had higher self-esteem. However, the links were small, and the study was done in only one country. It shows connections and does not show definite causes.

Popular advice urges us to raise our self-esteem, yet confident self-love can shade into narcissism. Researchers draw a clear line between the two. Self-esteem reflects the feeling that one is as worthy as others, whereas narcissism involves the belief that one is superior and entitled to special treatment. Narcissistic individuals tend to crave admiration and to react with hurt or anger to criticism, so their apparent confidence depends heavily on others' approval.

Where do these tendencies come from? In a 2015 study published in PNAS, Dutch researchers surveyed about 560 children aged seven to eleven and their parents every six months for a year and a half. Parental overvaluation, seeing one's child as more special than others, predicted later increases in narcissism, while parental warmth predicted later increases in self-esteem.

The effects, however, were small, inherited temperament could not be fully ruled out, and the findings come from a single country. A 2003 review also found only weak evidence that boosting self-esteem improves grades or relationships; success may raise self-esteem rather than the reverse. An alternative is self-compassion, treating oneself kindly after failure without comparing oneself with others.