Sometimes a friend suddenly stops answering your messages and never explains why. This is called "ghosting," because the person disappears like a ghost. A research team in Italy studied people who were ghosted. Many people first felt surprised and confused.

Then they felt angry or sad. Next, they tried to fix the relationship. Finally, they accepted it. If you are ghosted, it is not your fault.

Ghosting means ending a relationship by suddenly cutting off all contact without giving a reason. It began as a dating term, but it also happens between friends. In an American study of 99 young adults, many had experienced both ghosting someone and being ghosted. People often choose ghosting because it feels easier than an awkward conversation.

An Italian team asked 208 young adults to write about being ghosted or clearly rejected. Their stories showed several stages, starting with surprise and confusion, then anger, sadness, and self-blame, then attempts to repair the relationship, and finally acceptance. The researchers argued that ghosting is a kind of ostracism. Another study found that people who believe relationships depend on destiny were more accepting of ghosting.

When 99 young American adults were asked about ghosting, many said they had been on both ends of it. Ghosting means ending a relationship by suddenly cutting off all contact without explanation, and those who did it often said they wanted to avoid an awkward confrontation. Messaging apps make it easy, and psychologists have only recently started studying it.

An Italian team asked 208 young adults to describe being ghosted, "orbited" (cut off but still watched on social media), or rejected directly. The accounts of ghosting followed a rough sequence. Surprise and confusion came first, then anger, sadness and self-blame, then attempts to save the relationship, and finally acceptance. The authors treated ghosting as a form of ostracism. Two surveys, of roughly 550 and 750 people, looked at beliefs about relationships.

People with strong "destiny" beliefs, who assume that compatible partners simply click, were more accepting of ghosting and more likely to have done it. These studies relied on personal accounts and one-time surveys, so they describe ghosting but cannot show what it causes. A Spanish survey of 626 adults found that lower life satisfaction went with "breadcrumbing," sending occasional teasing messages, more than with ghosting alone.