Do conversations end when both people want them to end? Researchers studied 932 conversations to find out. After each talk, people said when they really wanted to stop. Almost no conversations ended when both people wanted.

Often, one person wanted to talk longer, and the other wanted to stop sooner. People could hardly guess when their partner wanted to stop. Saying "That was fun!" at the end can help.

Ending a conversation can feel awkward. Researchers at Harvard and other universities examined 932 conversations in two studies. In the first, people remembered a recent conversation with someone such as a family member or friend. In the second, pairs of strangers talked freely in a lab.

Afterwards, each person reported when they had wanted the conversation to end and guessed when their partner had wanted it to end. Conversations almost never ended when both people wanted them to, and rarely even when one person wanted.

On average, the difference between desired and actual length was about half of the conversation. People were also very poor at guessing their partner's wishes. The researchers called this a "coordination problem."

Most people have experienced the awkward moment of wanting to leave a conversation, or wishing it had lasted longer. A 2021 study by researchers at Harvard and elsewhere examined 932 conversations to see whether they end when people want them to. In one study, participants recalled recent conversations with friends, family, or other close people; in another, pairs of strangers talked freely in a laboratory.

Each person then reported when they had wanted the conversation to end and when they thought their partner had wanted it to end. Conversations almost never ended when both parties wished, and rarely ended when even one did. The average gap between desired and actual duration amounted to roughly half the length of the conversation, and participants' estimates of their partner's preferences were highly inaccurate.

The authors described this as a coordination problem: solving it requires information that people hide, because stating a wish to leave may seem rude. A limitation is that desired end points were self-reported after the fact. Other research shows that quick responses, at a scale of less than a quarter of a second, predict feelings of connection, so the rhythm of conversation conveys social information even when words do not.